Sometimes in life not only accepting the fact that we have insecurities but embracing them as well is probably one of the toughest things to do. Everybody has insecurities, some more so than others and some taking a greater toll on a person than others. However, on occasion, we each take a step back and re-evaluate ourselves. We check what we think has gone wrong, what needs to be changed and try our best to figure out a way to change it.
Today was one of those days where I decided to take a step back to be able to take a leap forward in the near future. Weight has never been a serious issue of mine however not being as thin and as toned as you would like is tough to come to terms with. Seeing lots of women with gorgeous figures everyday makes you stop and think! So I did one of the bravest things I have done in a long time and I hopped up onto the scales, something I haven't done in about 10 years. Keeping in mind I am only eighteen.
I wasn't too shocked at the result on the scales although it did take me a good two minutes to look down to reveal the numbers on the small screen. After about an hour of debating what to do I arranged to go for a walk with one of my best friends. A good gossip, some well sought after laughter and a small bit of excersise was just what I needed.
And so it all begins. I'm going to join the gym on Friday and as from today i begin to eat a lot more healthy foods (not that my diet was all junk anyway). I will also start to maintain a good balance between work and my studies and between food and excersise.
Another of my insecurities that I really have started to take on lately is my freckles. Having freckles usually makes me cringe anytime I think of them. Some people say that they think they're ''cute'' or that they really ''show character'' personally I think they look like lots of dots on my face. Which is exactly what they are. Although I constantly try and cover them up with concealer or foundation I recently began to ask myself ''what's the point?''.
You can still notice that I have them even with my best efforts to cover them up. My course in college doesn't allow make up in practical classes and so everybody can see them anyway and plus after all i did say they were only a few dots. So I have started to wear less foundation and show them off more.
Stretch marks. Two words most people die over. It's generally women who suffer from stretch marks however it doesn't mean men cannot get them, trust me they do! Pregnancy can usually trigger them to come about just as gaining weight can. Believe me i didn't get them from pregnancy. My hips and thighs are the two areas where I have them and they can really annoy me at times. I always feel insecure when i wear shorts in summer time or if i wear a dress when I go out on the town but i feel that if i put tan on they're not half as bad.
Bio-oil has become my go-to item lately. Every morning religiously I put it on my stretch marks and recently they have started to fade. By no means are they completely gone but they're getting there. It's defiantly something i'd recommend and it's so easy to purchase in your local chemist or in a 'Boots' shop and for a great price too. Not only does it work on stretch marks but it also helps with scars and the apperance of an uneven skin tone so if those are some of your insecurities there is a solution so don't panic.
Although i'm only eighteen I have suffered from a venous malformation known as secondary varicous veins in my left leg since I was a baby. Unfortunately this isn't something which can be sorted with some bio-oil. In fact the form of malformation which I have hasn't ever been seen before in my hospital and so it is un-treatable.
It is something I think about everyday and not only do I think about it, they do hurt sometimes and prevent me from doing some activities which i would love to be able to do. They might look unsightly on some days and they might hurt like hell on other days but, I do have good days where i won't feel them at all. Some days it's hard to even straighten out my leg though, but hey, on the plus side i still have a leg don't I?
My final insecurity however is my height. Feeling knee high to a grass hopper is never good although I think this one is just an excuse for a new pair of heels don't you think?
My point is everybody has insecurities and even though most of mine do not have that much of a serious impact on me at this point in my life and for that i will be forever thankful, the person sitting next to you tomorrow at some point might have the worst insecurities you could imagine possible. Don't ever judge a book by its cover, it's whats on the inside that counts.
Until next time,
P.S what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. x
